


Stay with me

by needmesomepie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brief character mentions, Cancer, Death, Kind of a little bit sorry, M/M, Mainly Cas and Dean, Mentions of Cancer, Minor Character Death, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 11:37:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7713505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needmesomepie/pseuds/needmesomepie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas has cancer. Dean is Cas' husband. Cas is going to die. Dean is there to make it easier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay with me

Cas had cancer, and not the curable kind. He'd married Dean and not even a week later, collapsed. After a few trips to the doctors and three more blackouts, Cas was told he had cancer and would never hear the words 'it's gone'. Tears had fallen easily from his eyes and Dean's, puffy cheeks, blurry eyes and sleepless nights a new way of life for them both. Dean had stayed with him, through the diagnoses, the treatment and tears, sitting in that same chair for months as Cas was pumped full of chemicals he'd never remember the name of.

He'd seen other patients come and go, the mechanic named Bobby, plagued with brain cancer, who had lost his fight last month. Kevin, the student who'd discovered it too late and was gone just a few days later. Charlie the quirky IT geek who had finally got her life together, hit with tumors in her lungs. She'd been struggling to breathe for two months, and then one day, she didn't. They'd all come and they'd all gone, whether they got moved to a bed or never made it that far, Dean had seen them all come and he'd seen them all go. He knew that one day it would be the same story for someone else, whether it be a nurse or another patient, but one day someone would see him come accompanied and then leave another, alone.

Day after day Dean sat in that chair next to Cas, reading to him, singing to him, talking idle chit chat or sitting in a comfortable silence. Day after day he took him home again and through increased weakness, made him dinner and then put him to bed. He hated it, watching his husbands health deteriorate day in, day out. He hated watching the brightness from his smile disappear, and the life in his eyes wither down to nothing. He hated seeing the broken look on Cas' face when his hair began falling out, and didn't miss the sorrow when he decided to shave it off. But more than anything, Dean hated hearing the words 'two weeks' followed by 'nothing we can do'.

Cas had been moved to a bed later that day to 'make him comfortable'. That was when it hit Dean. When Cas had been in a chair he'd always had a tiny glimmer of hope, always held on to the dream that Cas would get through it. But now Cas was in a bed. Dean knew the process, he'd seen it all before. Chairs turned to beds, and beds turned to graves. Dean knew where Cas was heading next and looking at his husband, lying almost motionless save the steady rise of fall of his stomach, he broke. For the first time since the diagnoses, he let the tears flow and he didn't even try to hide it.

Three days left. That was what they predicted. Cas was too weak to even open his eyes these days, too weak to take in the oxygen around him alone. He lay there, covered in wires and tubes all hooked up to different machines. And Dean sat there, next to Cas like he had since day one, holding his hand and feeling the life slowly drain out of his husband. He hadn't been home since the day Cas got moved. He couldn't. He wasn't prepared to miss a single second of life he had with his husband, when it was so slowly being ripped apart. In some ways Dean had wished it was quick. Being hit by a car or falling from a building. Not this. Not dying so slowly and being in so much pain. Dean could see it on his face, the pain, working its way into every crevice and crease caused by the illness. In some ways he wished it was him lying there, taking all that pain instead of Cas. But he sat, and then he lay next to Cas, night drawing on another day of Cas' slow demise.

Two days left. Their family had come to say goodbye. Four brothers, three parents, two cousins, and one sister. Gabe was the worst affected, along with Balthazar and Sam. Micheal and Lucifer just stood at the back, slightly behind Uriel who said nothing. Anna looked like she'd been crying for two months straight, but she remained strong, even though inside she was broken beyond repair. John had a hand on Dean's shoulder, offering what support he was capable of. Cas' parents held his cold hands, just wanting him to wake up. The room was silent, bar a few sniffles. Tears dripped from some peoples eyes, others stood stock still, brave. Cas may never have really got on with most of his family, but they always cared. They always wanted the best for eachother, especially little Cas who'd got it worst and as soon as it started looking up for him, it all came crashing back down. Night came and family left. Just Dean and Cas in the small little room.

One day left. Dean had hoped the doctors wouldn't be right, that maybe he'd get just one more day with his husband. But as he woke to the sound of machines beeping, he lost hope. He screamed, he screamed so loud the word 'help' that maybe the whole ward would hear him. Doctors and nurses rushed in, pumping Cas full of who knows what in any attempt to give him just one day more. They stopped. Dean yelled. One doctor grabbed him by the shoulders telling him to 'say goodbye'. Dean didn't want to. He wanted to go on his honeymoon with his husband, he wanted to go home with him, back to their bed and just cuddle. He wanted to adopt two kids and live a happy life, go down to the park on weekends and in the evening have a family film night. He wanted to live a life with Cas, not say goodbye to him. But he did. He grabbed Cas' hands between his and something he didn't expect happened. Cas turned his head towards him, opened his eyes and spoke. The first words he'd spoken since being moved to the bed. Dean noticed the greyness of Cas' eyes, the chaffed lips and dry skin as he muttered the words 'stay with me'. The words rang around in Dean's head, of course he was going to stay, it's what he'd done all along. He kissed him one last time and the line went flat. The doctor came back and nodded at his nurse. The words 'time of death' were muttered followed by '1:46am'. Dean just sat, holding onto Cas' hands as machines were switched off and wires and tubes removed. He held his hands for two hours after until Sam came and collected him, taking him back to his house. There it was. The day Dean left, alone, no need to ever come back.

 

Dean didn't say a word after the funeral. He left after Cas was burried, taking the long route back to their house for the first time since he'd died. He walked in, putting his keys down on the side and walked upstairs to their bed. He sat down. But then he got up again, walking right back to where Cas was burried, knowing no one would be there anymore, his last words spinning round in his head. Day in day out he had spent next to Cas in that hospital, from the chair to the bed, and now to the grave. He reached the lone stone slab and sat, tears streaming down his face at the life he had lost, the _one_ he had lost.

Cas had asked him to stay, and so that's exactly what Dean did.

**Author's Note:**

> I told you i didn't do happy ;)


End file.
